The Wisdom of Daddy: Building Confidence

On a recent play date, my friend (a Dad) and I took the kids to Duthie Hill Park, known for a remarkable mountain bike trail system. The 6-year-old “big kids” (my son and his daughter) hit the trail on bikes with him while our younger ones (girls ages 3 ½ and 4) walked with me. Our plan wasn’t specific but he mentioned there was a big open space with a BMX track “in the middle” and they planned to ride there a bit.

My "Dad Friend" with his youngest at the skate park, another exciting place he introduced us to

The girls and I decided we would be “on the creature trail” (both are fans of the PBS Kids show “Wild Kratts”) spotting slugs, fuzzy caterpillars, and even tadpoles. We had fun shaking “snow” from the Cottonwood Tree seed pods that littered part of the trail and pretending the dogs we passed with mountain bikers were actually wolves. Then we became a wolf pack ourselves, all the while picking and eating ripe salmon berries. It was lovely.

Lovely, that is, until we came to a fork in the trail and I was unsure of directions. Straight ahead seemed the obvious answer but there was a massive wooden bike ramp/jump built off to the side (“is that part of the BMX track?” I wondered). We had been walking for a while and enjoying ourselves along the way but there were no obvious signs that we were getting close to anything… I started wondering if we were lost and I didn’t want to wear the girls out trekking along in the wrong direction. Unsure of myself and completely unfamiliar with the location (no map at the entry to the trail system so I didn’t even know if we were on a loop or not), I wasn’t willing to risk getting lost (that was highly unlikely, actually, but I admit it crossed my mind). Plus, I didn’t want cranky kids begging to be carried as they dragged their feet back to the car if they became too tired on the trail. All of these concerns were just banter in my mind… the girls were getting along beautifully without a complaint in the world, I simply couldn’t stop pondering the “what ifs,” so we turned around.

Meanwhile, at the “so cool” (direct quote from my son, by the way) BMX track that we never made it to, my son, his friend, and her Dad were happily zipping around the track, catching air on jumps, banking corners and even falling sometimes but getting right back up and having a blast. Do you think my Dad friend was out there fretting about “what ifs” at the time? Um no, I don’t think so either… and that, my friends, is the wisdom of Daddies.  

There is a HUGE gap between my idea of what it means to take risks and a Dad’s idea. My idea of “risky” activities with my kids is taking them kayaking (in a tandem kayak with me and wearing a life vest, of course), letting them use a sharp knife in the kitchen while I supervise, or rocking out with them to heavy metal from the ‘80s (hey, some of those lyrics are dicey… and for the record, it’s “Highway to Help” if my kids ask).

This biking experience reminded me of the time my husband finally took me to Red Top Lookout with him and the kids. He had taken the kids there a few times before so I had heard a lot about this incredibly scenic fire lookout station set high in the Cascades. First of all, let me tell you that the view from there is absolutely breathtaking, but second of all, let me tell you… Holy Flaming Treetops, this lookout is literally perched on a mountaintop with perilous cliffs all around!

See? I wasn't exaggerating

Personally, I wouldn’t have considered this a kid-friendly destination if I hadn’t experienced it with my own kids myself… and to think that their Dad brought them here a couple times on his own (gulp).

Taking a little break on the way up

Almost there

Feeling on top of the world

Yes, a lot of supervision was required and it took great coaxing to get our youngest to walk herself up the trail but they both did it and they both absolutely love that place, no doubt proud of themselves for hiking a tough trail and exhilarated to experience the fresh cold air and amazing views all around. Ask either of them about their favorite hike and they’ll proudly tell you, “Red Top Lookout.”

So on this Father’s Day I’d like to officially thank my dear Husband, my “Dad-Friend” Brad, and all Dads out there for all that you bring to the table but particularly for the fun and exciting challenges you present to our kids. The confidence you’re instilling in them will last a lifetime. Hopefully the air-guitar skills I'm teaching won't sink in so much.

Happy Father’s Day!

The Wisdom of Daddy: Creative Excursions

It’s amazing what happens when I’m out of the picture and my husband has the kids an entire day or over a weekend. Some of the activities he comes up with are downright brilliant.

Most recently, he took the kids to Oak Creek Wildlife Viewing Area in Naches, Washington. “Huh? Where is that?” You ask? My thoughts exactly…  but boy was I surprised when they returned with great pictures, interesting facts, and lively stories.

Rocky Mountain Elk are the main attraction at this Wildlife Area (though you can go to another part to see Bighorn Sheep as well) and all it takes is a Washington State Discover Pass and calling (509) 653-2390 in advance to make a reservation if you want to take a guided truck tour (these tours are also available on a first-come first-serve basis but it's worth it to make a reservation if you can). As long as you're willing to head to Eastern Washington (near Yakima) in January or February and don't mind waiting around in the cold a bit, you're almost guaranteed to see Elk... and I'm talking about a LOT of Elk, and many with enormous antlers.

These Elk roam in from the neighboring mountains in search of food and apparently there can be up to 1,200 of these massive mammals at the feeding station at a time. Almost 100 miles of 8-foot-high fence was built in the 1940s to keep the Elk from devouring the acres of orchards in this region and every Winter this feeding station supplements the Elks' diet.

Even with two tour jeeps carrying curious folks in to get a closer look, a decent effort is made to keep a respectful distance from these still very wild animals. However, some of the Elk are just as curious as the visitors so there is a chance of up-close viewing. The male bull Elk with their enormous antlers can actually be very territorial (meaning aggressive) so it is essential to follow the rules while visiting.

The free tour even came with a big button displaying an Elk (but please don't call it a button, my kids are quite certain it is a very special badge).

The Wisdom of Daddy: A Special Phone Call

The Elves called yesterday and reported that they’ve been running into some nasty weather the past few nights and won’t be able to continue nighttime deliveries. They recommended that William and Sara stop waking up at 5:30 every morning and instead check their advent calendar periodically throughout the day to see if a delivery has been made.

Good call, Elf Daddy.

The Wisdom of Daddy: Math Time

“OK, who wants to do some math?” he enthusiastically inquires after dinner. “Me, me, me,” they both answer as they clamber to the table where he sits with an abacus, paper, pencils, and an agenda of having fun.

Math time with Daddy has become a little after-dinner ritual that the kids look forward to. We talk about it during the day when counting and numbers are naturally part of our activities. "Oh, tonight you can tell Dad that it took 13 steps to walk across the kitchen," for example.

Tonight was extra special when Sara realized that her Princess sticker book has many pages featuring addition and subtraction. Daddy usually steers clear of Snow White but tonight, Sara had him at “look Dad, numbers ones!”

The Wisdom of Daddy: Surprise!

Give me an itinerary and I will give you organized bundles of toys for the car or plane, homemade snacks to keep blood sugars even, and a suitcase packed with everything our family might need (and then some). Planning and organizing can be part of the fun but sometimes it’s a huge relief to just relax and see where the day (or the Dad) takes us.

Weekend hikes have been a surprise all summer. The kids pepper their Daddy with questions:  “Where are we going, Dad?” “What’s the name of this place?” and everyone’s favorite “Are we there yet?” but he just keeps driving, not offering any clues about our destination. There’s a good chance he is simply undecided about which hike would suit us best but I prefer to think that this added element of surprise is a stroke of genius.

Speaking of surprises, Rob planned a brilliant overnight trip to Vancouver, BC for my birthday. He told me about it on Thursday then we left early Saturday morning, leaving the perfect amount of time to get things together but not obsess about the details or over-pack. Forty eight hours in Vancouver really doesn’t do the city justice but we managed to experience plenty of highlights without getting stuck in obnoxious Labor Day traffic at the border crossing.

Using Bing’s travel alerts, Rob scored an excellent last-minute deal at the Fairmont Pacific Rim, set near the lively harbor full of sea planes, enormous cruise ships, and the majestic sails of the iconic Canada Place. The Fairmont kindly let us check in early so we had our home base established, suitcase dumped, car parked, and we were ready to explore.

Our whirlwind of fun began with a bus ride to Granville Island, a mecca for art, shops, food, glorious produce, and all kinds of entertainment.  

We wandered aimlessly enjoying the sunshine, street entertainers and musicians, and window-shopping until we stumbled upon the Kids Market and our children saw a wall of toys in a store window… they had William and Sara at Lego. Rob and I had other thoughts on the best way to spend our time, namely not indoors and not shopping, so after letting them look for a bit, we pried the kids away from the clutches of the insanely huge building full of toy shops with the lure of lunch.

Next stop:  lunch at Bridges then the famous Granville Public Market. I’d like to say that we walked through this historic market full of exotic wares slowly and let all of our senses be delighted by the amazing sights, smells, and sounds but (here is where I wonder whether blogging should always be the whole truth and nothing but the truth) yours truly had a little meltdown…. nothing embarrassing just a quiet yet abrupt “Get me OUT of here!!!” moment. The closed-in marketplace was absolutely packed with people, it was extremely noisy, I was clutching on to Sara’s little hand terrified that I might lose her, and hating that William and Daddy were so far ahead that I couldn’t see them.  Plain and simple, I was overwhelmed. And since we had just dragged the kids out of the toy store I didn’t understand why we were “shopping” more.

Yeah, that's what I felt like, "Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Rob did not understand why I was suddenly freaking out and I was not in a great place to coherently explain myself. It took some time but we recovered. The refreshing water park smack dab in the middle of everything helped. We had fun running around in the mist, splashing in troughs of water, and spraying a couple fire hoses. After some fresh air, deep breathing, and being hosed down (kidding), I came to understand that (duh) people come to this island simply to experience the very market that had me out of my mind. We weren’t there to shop, rather we were there to experience interesting new things, one of the mantras of our vacation agenda... oops, Mommy forgot… maybe I needed a nap. Anyhow, we gave it another try and did great the second time around. We got to sample local honey, check out vegetables and fruits we had never heard of, admire handmade hats and scarves, appreciate local art, drool over gorgeous pastries, and take a nice quiet little break perusing books (a wonderful little bookstore was right across the street in another building called the Net Loft).  

A moving iron sculpture with balls rolling on ramps and chain "elevators" lifting the balls back up, located right next to the enormous cement factory. Even the massive cement trucks are decorated in colorful art on this Island.

Native artisans actually carve totem poles right on Granville Island -- they weren't working when we passed by but we got to peek a their workshop and see their creations up close.

After discussing the different images depicted on totem poles, Sara declared "dis one me!"

Pondering frozen treat options

Sara holding my hand

Our ride to the next destination

Taking the AquaBus was a relaxing and fun way to leave Granville Island. It took us to Science World.  

We didn't go in (it was under renovation plus we didn't want to be inside on such a pretty day) but Science World did look great -- maybe next time.

We were all a little tired by this point but talking about a ride on the SkyTrain perked the kids right up. 

We started high above ground, zooming along with views of the city. The kids were fascinated when it went dark around us and our stop was underground

A transportation theme had emerged. We drove the car up, rode the bus to Granville Island, hopped on a little boat to catch the SkyTrain then back to the hotel which is right next to the busy harbor with seaplanes, cruise ships, and all types of marine vessels coming and going.

The hotel's kid-friendly (only 3' 6" deep) pool was the perfect respite after our jet-setting day.

…and the pool was the perfect start the following day. After a little morning splashing we said goodbye to the Fairmont and were back in our car heading toward the awe-inspiring Stanley Park. Having misjudged the distance from the parking lot to the Fish House restaurant where we planned to have brunch, the kids were a bit tired but the benches along the way were a good spot to rest and the payoff was an incredible meal.

William with his cornflake crusted, banana, nutella french toast topped with caramel, whipped cream, strawberry and mint. No, this boy is not interested in the kids menu, thank you

William was happy and the waiter was impressed

A family could spend a full week in Stanley Park and still have fun things left to do. After some time at one of the many incredible playgrounds, we opted to hop on the Stanley Park Trolley to see as much of the park in our limited time frame.

Waiting for the trolley... looking a tad bit tired

While we would have loved to get out and enjoy the park more, the trolley turned out to be perfect for the kids' dwindling energy levels and it rounded out our "transportation theme" beautifully.

The Stanley Park Trolley, complete with a clanging bell at every stop

Rob loves giving gifts of experiences rather than things and I feel very lucky to have received such a well-planned gift. Thank you, Sweetie!

The Wisdom of Daddy: A “Guy’s” Camping Trip

They hit the dusty trail Friday afternoon for their second annual Father/Son camping trip. “Hey, Mom,” William said with an impish grin first thing that morning, “Guess how many sleeps until I go camping with Dad,” no answer from Mommy…. “NONE!”  Yes, the boy was thrilled (and I was thrilled that he told a joke, sort of, without “underpants” as the punch line). But I digress…

Rob’s excursion with William reminded me of the importance of making the most of one-on-one time with each of our children rather than just viewing those one-child moments as opportunities to do more housekeeping or get errands out of the way. By slowing down, following her lead, and really focusing on my dear Sara Bear we had a relaxed, meaningful and truly delightful time together while the guys were gone. Nothing fancy, just reading mountains of books, playing a couple games, letting her pick what we’d have for dinner (pizza of course), an after-dinner pajama walk (just her, my pajamas aren’t nearly as cute as her new princess nightgown), throwing a Frisbee for the neighbor dog, then finally a big huge bubble bath. And all this without big brother around so she received 100% of Mommy’s attention (and I got 100% of hers)!     

I meant it when I said "big huge bubble bath," (but not pink as the photo suggests, I just tinted it that way because my exposure was awful and this made it look fun and girly, just like our time together)

Meanwhile, William was enjoying having Dad all to himself as well, setting up camp, eating gnocchi with pesto as the little gourmand requested, and experiencing an amazingly bright almost-full moon. Just as he did last year, Rob took William to Mirror Lake, arguably one of the most picturesque and tranquil wilderness destinations within easy driving and hiking distance from our home.  

They experienced a camera malfunction so the only pictures are the ones I took of them heading out but these are moments William (and Daddy for that matter) will hold in their memory forever. Here are a couple shots from last year.

Gnocchi was William's choice last year too

Happy Camper

More Wisdom of Daddy



I stay close, I guide, I lend a helping hand.  I’m a mom, it’s what I do.  I want them to feel safe and secure, knowing I am always here for them.  I want them to know that it’s OK to ask for help, I want to help. It’s my way.  Daddy stays back, he waits, he stays quiet. It’s his way.

I used to get annoyed by this approach, thinking he wasn’t paying attention when the kids needed help cutting food into bites or putting toothpaste on toothbrushes. But I get it now.  Obviously, doing everything for kids doesn’t give them a chance to learn plus I realized that a lot of my “helping” was actually inspired by impatience, not virtuous maternal instinct. Sometimes I just want them to be done brushing their teeth already!

“Give a man a fish and you feed him for a day.  Teach a man to fish and you feed him for a lifetime.”                                                                                      ~Chinese Proverb and Daddy Wisdom

And when I’m not getting it, he reminds me “teaching them to fish, Lizzie, teaching them to fish.”



Sara thinks Daddy is pretty wise too.



The Wisdom of Daddy

As Easter was ending and there was a slight break in the rain, Rob and the kids were outside playing. It was chilly, in the 40s, so Sara supplemented her typical uniform of shorts and boots with a winter coat. William was just wearing a short sleeve t-shirt and pants. Rob was in a sweatshirt but decided to get his fleece jacket because it was so cold. Thinking I’m being helpful (and frankly that he is being clueless about properly caring for our under-dressed child), I suggested he grab a coat for William while he is at it. Without hesitation, his response was, “Then I’ll never get him to come in.” And there, in a snapshot, is the wisdom of Daddy!

So many times when I wonder “what is he thinking?!” it turns out a) there is a method to his madness, b) his way works too, and c) it is often brilliant!

Some examples: I like to explain, he often gives one word commands. (This gets the kids attention and the appropriate response.) I’m all about hugging until the cows come home, he draws the line. (If Sara continues to cry and complain while I’m doing my best to placate her, my approach obviously isn’t working—he’ll remove her from the situation and go spend one on one time with her until she settles down.) I’ll do everything I can to avoid conflict and potential meltdowns, he just goes about the business of our days. (The kids can get frustrated when unexpected events arise but this gives them the opportunity to learn how to recover from being upset and be more flexible in the world.)

Happy sigh… the wisdom of Daddy just makes me love my husband more every day.